On love

I'm deep into the second draft of Project Y and just came to a passage that I really like. It turns out that writing the second draft of a book is more difficult than laying down the first in a lot of ways. Right now I'm engaged in a strange kind of alchemy--desperately trying to turn manure into gold.

Unlike most of the rest of Project Y, I believe I got the piece you'll find below mostly "right" the first time through. When I edited it today, I didn't change a whole lot.

In this passage, Iris, a woman who may or may not be a goddess, delivers a monologue on the subject of love.

I thought I'd share this passage because I was actually surprised when I landed on it. I had forgotten all about this bit, and when I came to it, it struck me as something written by someone else--someone who writes a whole lot better than I do. If I'm ever asked to do an author reading, this will be my selection.

I hope you like it too.

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“Iris, what do you know about love?”

“Oh Tony, I know a lot about love. Then again I know nothing at all. When you get right down to it, love is a mystery, even to the gods. I’ve been around a few thousand years, so it might not come as a complete surprise that I’ve had a few other lovers—men and women, gods and goddesses.”

“It might just surprise you that I’ve earned quite a few doctoral degrees over the years from universities ranging from Oxford and MIT to Texas Tech and Yale. Oh, I see you are surprised, but you wouldn’t be if you thought about it. Gods have a lot of free time on their hands these days, and I’m a bright girl who likes to keep busy. Top universities are really interesting places to hang around.”

“Of all my PhDs, the ones that have given me the most useful insight into the nature of love are in chemistry and physics. You would think one of my biologically based degrees would be helpful, but biology is really just about the plumbing, electric circuitry and mechanics of life, and the field doesn’t lend any real insight into what love is really about.”

“What about psychology?”

“Psychology? What a joke. I got a doctorate in Psychology from the University of Oklahoma, kind of on a lark. What a waste of time. Those morons couldn’t find the human psyche with a map, a GPS and huge signs pointing the way.”

“Here’s what I know about love: love is the most powerful motivator we have. It’s stronger than fear, stronger than hate, stronger than greed.”

“Love is patient. Love is kind. Love is a red, red rose. Love hurts. Love stinks. Love conquers all. Love is eternal. Love is a figment of the imagination and the most real thing in the universe. Love comes in different varieties and in different degrees.

"Sometimes we get to exercise free will and consciously choose who to love or not love. At other times we are prisoners of love and those decisions are beyond our control.”

“Love frees the soul. Love enslaves. Love emboldens. Love and clear thinking don’t usually go well together. Love sometimes leads you to do things you shouldn’t. Love is embarrassing sometimes. Love can destroy a life or save it.”

“Love and sex are different things, but they’re closely related in ways that link directly to the soul. Both are sacred.”

“Some people love everyone, and some people can’t love anyone—not even themselves. Neither of those conditions is particularly good, but people who are incapable of love are the unhappiest."

“It’s very possible to fall in love at first sight—it happens all the time. It’s also possible to be in true love with someone for years and then fall instantly out of love.”

“True love can last a lifetime, but true love can also last just for a split second. Both conditions are as true as the sunrise.”

“Love isn’t entirely about procreation, but love sure does help motivate the continuation of the species.”

“Love usually blossoms through proximity. Contrary to the mortal saying, absence does not make the heart grow fonder. That is just wishful thinking invented to comfort couples who find their love fading through separation.”

“It’s possible to truly love more than one person at the same time, but those situations almost never end up well.”

“Love is the true opiate of the masses. That and cable television.”

“It is possible to make someone love you, but not anyone worthwhile.”

“And the most important thing I know about love is really more about love once removed. When someone falls in love they are powerless to control themselves. There is nothing you can say or do to make them think or act rationally and it’s futile to even try. I’ve seen it hundreds of times, and it always plays out the same way.”

“First, Billy falls in love with Susie. Susie is mean tempered, a crone, a tramp, an addict, selfish, evil, vapid or whatever the case may be. This is not a good match and it’s blindingly apparent to everyone—everyone except, of course, for Billy. Your first is instinct is to warn Billy for his own protection and talk him out of loving Susie.”

“Billy ends up resenting you because of this, and he’s now doubly cursed because he has lost your friendship and he’s stuck with a witch."

"In short, love is blind.”

“That’s all I know about love, Tony. Now come over here.”