A lap around my globe

Lameness Alert: I'll admit it, I got nothin' today, but I'm doing a post anyway. Read on at your own peril.

When I began this blog six months or so ago, I was in touch with my audience. I mean that literally. First of all, I was writing this mostly for my own entertainment--I never expected more than a handful of welcome visitors to drop in. I only chose to document my Best Year Ever as an open blog because my handwriting is too awful to keep a paper diary and my life isn't exciting enough to hold any secrets.

Until recently, when I dialed up the map that shows me where you guys are coming from, I could almost always match each dot on the map with a particular face. Tuscaloosa meant Teri was taking a break from work, England was Melanie stopping by, Chapel Hill was Kevin, Austin was Mom--you get the idea.

Now when I pull up that map, I'm baffled. I don't know who most of you are these days. You come from places where I don't know a soul, I've never been and may not have even known existed before seeing your dot on my map.

I still personally know most of the Discerning Readers who have bravely identified themselves as followers in the roster of the "dishy" on the right hand side of the screen, but increasingly that's becoming less true. Followers are a huge ego boost for me (thanks Ann B., whoever you are!), so even if we've never met, feel free to join the exclusive club and make my day.

I'm both fascinated by new places and I have a desperate need to know you, Discerning Reader. Here are some of the things I've learned about some of the places the last 100 visitors hail from, even though we probably have never met and I've never been to any of these towns.

Halifax, Nova Scotia: I love Canada, but I've never been to Halifax. My only impression of your home is that the Bare Naked Ladies were unkind to it in their song "Hello City". I'll bet I would like it there.

Ingersoll, Ontario: In 1866, while we were recovering from the Civil War down here, you produced a 7,600 pound wheel of cheese that was exhibited in England and the New York state fair. Awesome.

Chengdu, China: You're my first visitor from China (欢迎). For a minute, I thought I had been to your city but then realized I was getting Wuhan and Chengdu confused for some reason. Sorry! I've been to Chongquing, which is fairly close. Does that count? Chengdu, a city of 11 million people was in the news last year as the place where a terrible earthquake struck, killing 80,000 people. It's also the place where paper money was first widely used. I'm thrilled to learn that the Chinese government hasn't blocked the BYE blog.

San Juan, Puerto Rico: I've always wanted to visit your tropical paradise, but there's a problem. You have 4,300 vehicles per mile of paved road, the most in the world by a big margin. I really hate traffic jams, so I'd start ranting about five minutes after I arrived. Your port is the fourth busiest in the Western Hemisphere.

Melbourne, Australia Sydney gets all the ink, but you're pretty big too and the home of the biggest tram system in the world. Your favorite sports are Australian rules football, which is entertaining to watch and cricket, which is impossible to comprehend.

Gillette, Wyoming: I've had disproportionate number of visitors lately from those big open western states, and I have no clue why. Gillette has a population of just under 20,000 and calls itself the "Energy Capital of the Nation". Don't tell Houston, or they might sue you.

Sheridan, Wyoming: I want to visit you during Buffalo Bill Days one year. Your biggest contribution to letters is as the place astronomers believe an asteroid will strike in an unfinished book by Douglas Adams.

West Jordan, Utah: You might be the biggest American city I had never heard of until today. In 1970 you had a population of 4,000, but today you boast a population of over 100,000. Did the Osmonds move in or something?

Riesel, Texas: Population 973, but you can boast a police force consisting of a chief and two officers. You need those cops because you're either haunted or there's way too much drinking going on in your town. There's the bloody bride, the decapitated lady wandering through the auto parts store, the shackled lady at the dam, the nine foot giant heaving wood among others. Spooky.

Howardsville, Virginia: Did you know there are three Howardsvilles in Virginia so I'm not sure who you are? Does anyone else find that confusing?

Chandler, Arizona: I'd heard of you, but had no clue you had over 240,000 people living in your Phoenix suburb. In 1980 you had only about 30,000. Your city is named after the first vet in Arizona. Did you know that?

Neenah, Wisconsin: You must be one of the whitest places in America at 96 percent Caucasian. Wouldn't it be a hoot if one of you started a "Diversity Days" festival in town? Your museum is home to a world famous collection of art glass, so there's that.

Lebanon, Ohio: Woody Harrelson is from "The Cedar City".

Bothell, Washington: In 1962 Life Magazine proclaimed your Christmas tree was the largest living Christmas tree in the world. How sad when the tree got a disease and they had to cut the top off. You also inflicted Sanjaya Malakar of American Idol fame on the rest of us. If that's you out there Sanjaya, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I even voted for you once.