Holding my breath

I don't usually do two posts in a single day, but it's a big moment in the Best Year Ever, Dear Discerning Reader, and since you've come this far with me, I wanted to share it with you.

A few moments ago I took a deep breath as I hit the send button and an e-mail was whisked away to the in-box of a literary agency.

I had just sent my first query letter as a professional writer. Now I'm waiting for my first rejection letter as a professional writer.

The typical way of marketing a novel these days is through the good offices of a literary agent. I won't go into a lot of detail on the process--I barely understand it myself--but here's how I think it's supposed to work.

You begin by sending one or more agents a query letter and the first few pages of your manuscript and then, months later, one of the agent's assistants responds with a form letter telling you they will under no circumstances represent your book. Then you repeat the process indefinitely until a temp accidentally asks to see more.

Nowadays, most agents accept queries via e-mail, which saves on postage but not the agonizing length of time it takes for the pro forma rejection letter to follow.

So, do you want to see what a query looks like? Even if you don't, here's the one I just sent. Tell me, Discerning Reader, would you want to read this book? I'm feeling vulnerable right now and need your validation.

Dear Ms. Xxxxx,

When you mentioned in your agency profile that you are seeking to represent books with a fantastic/paranormal element that reach beyond genre fiction, I knew that I had to send you this query.

Tony Brand, the overweight, middle-aged, middle-management protagonist of Carnival Time, is having a very bad day. And it's about to get even worse. It's not even noon and already his estranged daughter is furious with him, his best sales rep. has just given notice, and he has just learned that he could be terminated at the upcoming managers' meeting. On his way to the Houston home office, his evening flight makes an emergency landing in New Orleans, stranding Tony there overnight.

There's just one problem; it's Mardi Gras weekend. Carnival time.

Tony's brief stay in the Crescent City is extended when he is kidnapped by a bumbling motorcycle gang, meets an intriguing history professor, goes on a quest for a lost chalice, rides in a Mardi Gras parade and becomes mixed up with an odd collection of people who claim to be gods and goddesses.

Oh, and he also has to save Mardi Gras by preventing an unthinkable act of terror.

Carnival Time is a genre-defying visual roller coaster of a novel that combines elements of farce, fantasy, romance, and suspense while gently exploring the theme of isolation in an ultra-connected age. It's also a 90,000-word love letter to a haunted and haunting city.

Like his protagonist, Hank Henley is a middle-aged former journalist and a former middle-manager for a large textbook publisher, although he's not as overweight as he used to be. Last year, he abandoned a two-decades-long career in college publishing to chase his dream of writing a good, commercially-successful novel.

As his potential agent, you should know that he has made a good living for many years selling other peoples' books and is committed to doing whatever it takes to sell his own.

Okay, enough third person. I know the setting of my story intimately, having lived in New Orleans for fifteen years, and I've thrown beads and doubloons from floats in quite a few Mardi Gras parades. You can learn all about me and my Best Year Ever by visiting www.hankhenley.com.

This is my first novel, and you are the sole recipient of my very first query letter.

Best regards,

Hank Henley

So, what do you think?