Spring thaw?

There's a tree in our front yard that is always the first in the neighborhood to blossom in the spring. Not being an arborist, I'm not sure what kind of tree it is. The tree puts out thousands of lovely pink flowers that last for a week or two and are the harbinger of the annual spring riot of color that follows here in the Bayberry Woods.

Our mystery tree has budded (see picture) and it looks like its blossoms will pop out in the next day or two. Someone needs to tell our tree to chill out. Spring is late this year.

Right now, my friends in New York and Pennsylvania are being treated to what some in the media are calling a "snowacane" as additional feet of snow and very high winds batter the already winter-weary Northeast.

Down here, temperatures are beginning to moderate, but it's still cold. The forecasters say it will be below freezing here for the next three nights and a mix of rain and snow is in the forecast for next Tuesday.

Is it just me, or is anyone else out there absolutely sick to death of this winter? Can I get a show of hands please? I thought so.

This has been the longest and harshest winter by far of the four we've spent in Suburbingham. We've escaped the blizzards that have hammered other parts of the country, but the cold temperatures just won't let up.

Our last two bills from the gas company have been a little scary, and the next one won't be much better. My delicate Irish skin has been itching in protest for weeks at the dryness in the air.

This weekend I will open several paper packets and place the squash and tomato seeds inside into plastic trays filled with soil. Over the next few weeks they will germinate and grow to a size where they can be transplanted to my little garden by early April. In other years, I would have done this by now, but this winter has been too cold to even think about planting my veggie crop. Given the ferocity of this endless winter, sticking those seeds into trays this weekend will be a genuine act of faith.

When I thought I couldn't stand winter another day, I booked us on a Caribbean cruise for May so I could have something warm to think about. Then I put together a playlist of tropical-sounding music (think Jimmy Buffett and Bob Marley) which has been playing non-stop in our house for the last couple of weeks. When the music stopped working its magic, my cabin-fevered brain told me to book us on a second cruise.

In the process of researching the cruises we'll be taking, I stumbled across the most entertaining blog in the webiverse. John Heald is a fat 45-year-old British man who is the senior cruise director for Carnival Cruise Lines. He writes a semi-unofficial daily blog that leaves me laughing out loud more days than not.

What makes what Mr. Heald calls "this blog thingie" so good is his honesty and humor in reporting the strange events that take place on board his floating resort and his reaction to them. He even goes so far as to post the actual complaints that come in from his often-irrational passengers. That he's mocking these people while they're still on-board the ship makes it even better.

Most of the crazy complaints come from professional whiners looking to score a free fruit basket or a refund, but some of the items that cross Mr. Heald's in-box are hilarious. From the lady who thought she didn't have to pay for her losses at the ship's casino to the guy caught stealing the DVD player out of his cabin at the end of the cruise to the golfers who were irate when he didn't show Tiger Woods' press conference live on the big screen on the sun deck to a "fecal event" that shut down the main pool for a day to an assault by PETA activists on board for not condemning a swim with the dolphins tour, the list of odd events at sea goes on and on.

The guy is very British, so the blog is filled with terms like "bollocks" and "bugger all". Sometimes Heald borders on shilling for his cruise line (you can tell he's a true believer, though) and he often resorts to potty jokes, but if you've ever laughed at Monty Python or Benny Hill, you'll appreciate his English sense of humor.

If you're interested, here's the link

As Mr. Heald usually says before running on for several more pages, that's all for today.

If you're contemplating a cruise of your own or just want a couple of warm, happy songs to make you forget it's still winter for a few minutes, I've got a couple of tunes to suggest as you build your own playlists.

"Sail Away" by Sister Hazel gets my vote for the best song ever written about a party cruise to Mexico. If you aren't smiling by the time that tune ends, there's something wrong with you. "Where the Boat Leaves From" by the Zac Brown Band runs a close second.

My vote for the cruise song most likely to have been written under the influence of a Schedule I narcotic is "If I Had a Boat" by Lyle Lovett. The song is about Roy Rogers and Tonto riding their ponies on their boats as they sail the seas. That a song with a premise that bizarre can be both haunting and beautiful is a testament to Mr. Lovett's skills as both a songwriter and performer.

Okay, that really is all for today.

"Here's to you and here's to me. Here's to getting lost at sea. Sail away."