When I checked the mailbox today, the census form was waiting for me inside. It took all of two minutes to complete since the Federales asked me for less information than is required to take out a magazine subscription.
I didn't delay filling out the form since the envelope darkly hinted at prison or worse if I just tossed the form in the trash. My envelope specifically told me I would be placed in a jail cell with an amorous axe murderer named Cletus if I didn't respond right away. I wonder if everyone got that version.
Threatening me with a prison term was an effective way to compel my cooperation but somehow didn't seem very nice when juxtaposed with the cutsey TV spots the census people have been running for weeks.
Now that I think about it, a reality show about armed Census Enforcement Agents bringing rogue and wanton non-responders to justice would be pretty cool (see picture). On second thought, maybe not.
For me the hardest part of the form was determining if I was either Guamanian or Chamorro. I thought guamanian was a dip made with avocados and chamorros came from the drive through at Taco Bell. Turns out that Guamanians are Guamish and Chamorros are Pacific islanders. Live and learn, that's my motto.
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