She blinded me with science

She blinded me with science,
And hit me with technology.
--Thomas Dolby

Help wanted: One biologist, preferably with a strong background in microbiology. Knowledge of microscopes (both optical and electron varieties) a must. Experience with microscopic imaging of tissue cultures is required. The person accepting the position of BYE science consultant will be paid in the eternal gratitude of an author of a book now being written. The consultant will be acknowledged in said book and and will receive a signed first edition when published. Apply to the proprietor of this blog.

I found myself wading into the waters of science today. Those waters seemed so tranquil and blue when viewed from afar. They seemed warm and inviting when I first dipped my toes into that tropical sea. Then I got about three steps off the shore and the bottom fell out. Within seconds I was drowning.

Appearances can be deceiving.

I had to fight my way through a mere 685 words of dreadful prose today. I didn't even try to write "pretty" today, I just tried to get enough facts straight to fool a liberal arts graduate into believing I knew what I was talking about. I told myself I could go back later to "fix" the writing.

I won't tell you any more because I don't want to spoil the surprise. I know I don't have a chance of fooling a scientist or engineer, but if I can trick the political science majors out there into suspending their disbelief and going along with me for the ride, I'll be pleased.

I'm writing a murder mystery with a sciency twist. Today I reached the point where I could no longer ignore the science piece of it. After plowing through my old friend Wikipedia along with scholarly journal articles, industry websites and dozens of web pages produced by biology professors, I finally knew just enough to write this brief but key scene so I could move the story along.

Along the way I learned the difference between a nanometer and a micrometer, about Antony van Leeuwenhoek and his animalcules, how the norovirus works, how to put a microscope slide together and a bunch of other things that weren't relevant to my life prior to today.

I know I've got it all wrong, and any biologist who reads what I've written will mock me for my complete lack of understanding. I'm also writing about coroners, police procedures, security systems, government agents, crime labs, SEC football and a bunch of other things I don't know anything about, so this story is likely to turn out to be a giant ball of factual error.

The late Michael Chrichton was the master of writing fiction based on science. He made it look so easy. Trust me, it's not. It's hard to make up believable science without making it boring.

Lucky for me I'll be done with writing the science part of the story in another day or two. I have one more tough science-based scene to get through and fortunately I'll have my cop there for the scientist to talk down to. After that, I'll be back to writing about the lives of people and their various levels of dysfunction. I'm on solid ground there--no chance of drowning.